I had written a post about Living with Alzheimer's. Well I thought I would follow that up with a few more stories. The forgetfulness is progressing more rapidly. And up until a few weeks ago I thought the driving was fine. But I was talking to Kevin on the cell, my dad was driving. We had been looking over at the river to see how high it was. He flew through the three way stop about 30 MPH turning left. Needless to say, I was shocked, scared, and ready to take the keys. I ride with my dad often to keep a check on his ability to drive and that was the first time I seen a huge issue with it. He says its cause we were trying to see the river and he didn't see the stop sign. The stop sign and river are far apart. I am totally for the driver license bureau making elderly take a driving test. They do it in some states already. I was in the drivers license bureau one day while an elderly man was getting his drivers license. The tester wanted him to read line 2 - he said HUH!!!! She said read line 2 - he said HUH!!!! She screamed READ LINE 2 - he proceeded and got it wrong. So she said read line 2 again and he said HUH!!!! So you get the picture, this went on for about 10 times. Honestly I think she just gave him the license to get him out of her line. I thought he should of had to go get a hearing aide first so he could he hear an emergency siren behind him.
One day my dad was coming over for dinner and when I called to make sure he was still coming, he was shoveling the snow. SHOVELING???? When he got here I asked why he didn't use the snow blower, he said "I couldn't find it". It has been in the garage as soon as you open the door since Kevin took it home fixed. I used it once and my dad used it 3 days ago. So now does that mean he doesn't know what a snow blower is? Or doesn't recognize it? We went over two days later and it was right where it always was.
My dad has a habit of cussing me out for the least little thing, even if it doesn't have anything to do with me - or if I even know what he is talking about. The last time was because I went to the Willoughby Senior Center one evening to listen to country music. Now mind you he didn't ever want to go to music. When my mother was living, she would want to go, but he wouldn't. So we would drive up there and pick her up and take her to music and then take her home. So why now is he so interested in country music? I may never go again. He hurt me so bad over that. But how am I to know he wanted to go? I don't think to ask him to go everywhere we go. I ask him to go allot of places, sometimes he goes, sometimes he doesn't.
Four days later he came over here crying and saying he was sorry and he loved us. You know I don't remember my dad ever saying I love you. Isn't that strange? But truly I don't. Usually I just ignore his rants cause I know it is the Alzheimers eating at his brain. I wait a couple days and call and go over and we both act like nothing ever happened. I act that way cause I don't want him dwelling on it and know he can't help it even though it hurts me deeply, and he acts that way cause he don't remember it.
He was sick and needed to go to the doctor. Supposedly he called for my brother to take him. I am and have been for years the one that takes him to the doctor. So not understanding today why my brother took him so sick to the doctor and didn't find the need to let me know. I would of went over and stayed the night with him and took care of him. Instead he stayed alone, throwing up and with diarrhea. Why the lack of communication when our dad needed help and no one there for him cause I didn't know? My sister in law thinks I didn't appreciate the "help". But what I didn't appreciate is that my dad was sick enough to feel he needed to go to the doctor, but no one thought I needed to know that information. I have been my dad's caretaker since all this Alzheimers started. I have taken him to every appointment. I know my dad well. I was with him on Thursday and he was fine. My brother was at his house on Friday and he was fine and they went out to dinner. So Sunday my dad calls my brother. Well by the time his appointment was on Monday, my brother took my dad to Bob Evans BEFORE the doctors appointment for "the flu". Really if you have the flu, you are not eating at Bob Evans, you would not be able to hardly make it to the doctor. Then my dad proceeds to say he hasn't ate in 6 days. Then I go up to my dad's and on his calendar he has sick written down on Thurs., Fri., Sat., and Sun. Now knowing that he was fine on Thursday and Friday, you need to pay attention to him. He don't remember anything, and sometimes he is very convincing when in all reality it was made up. So did he have the flu - NO. Did he have a one day stomach virus on Sunday - possibly. But on Monday he was fine and took up an appointment that someone else could of used all because I was not called.
I had told my dad when my mother died if he wasn't able to keep the house clean he would not be able to live there. So he had made allot of effort to keep it clean. So knowing he was "sick" and supposedly the house was a mess according to him, me and Kevin go up to give it a good cleaning. Well he does keep the house clean - in the living room and dining room. But I started in the back and while everything is totally picked up and put in its place, the dust was very thick. So we cleaned really good. And have another day of the kitchen, utility room and another bathroom. Then out to the garage. But we had a good time. I put chili together and took it up there and cooked it, my dad's job was to stir it. And he watched over that like it was a baby. Then he wanted to invite the neighborhood over for dinner. One neighbor left to go to work before he could invite him, and the other friend said he had his own chili. (He is 86 and I was sure he wouldn't come for dinner). But he was proud of that chili, I think mostly cause it was part deer meat.
For some reason a few weeks ago my dad was telling everyone we were in different countries, and he hasn't seen us for days. I am not a "world traveler", nor will I ever be. One week we were in Australia, and the next week he is convinced that we were in Brazil. I see or talk to him almost every day, and yet he will be so convincing at Hardee's that they would believe him. I was at his house and I needed a tablet to work on his income taxes. He said get the one off his desk. In big print he had "VICKI HAS HEATING PAD". I did not have his heating pad, I have my own. So I ask him why he wrote that, he said I can't find it so you had to of taken it. REALLY?!?!?!?! So I showed him right where he leaves it beside his chair when he is done using it. He said "it wasn't there when I was looking for it". So I told him I had it in Australia. He was happy with that answer.
My dad sprang his foot the end of May. After it was swollen for one week (that I knew of) he decided it was bad enough to go to the doctor. So he had no idea how he sprang it. After three days at the clinic they decided he should go to the emergency room. Well they right away said it was a sprang. And they sent a social worker down. Now all of a sudden he knew he sprang it in WV mowing the side of MY HILL!?!?!?!?! Now mind you he was never behind a mower the whole time we were in WV, but he just told "story after story" in the ER, and they didn't know it wasn't true and I'm tired of saying that's not true. Cause really it didn't matter how it happened, it was way after the fact and I had come to realize we would never find out how it happened - the truth anyway. So the social worker said "you are of sound mind today". NO HE WAS NOT!!!! He just told one "story" after another. No truth there - does that make you of sound mind cause you can give an answer to a question that isn't true. He sometimes is so convincing to people saying things that he just makes up so no one knows his mind is going fast. I hear it almost everyday - I seen your dad and he was doing really good - no sign of Alzheimer's today. When you are not with him allot like I am - you think he is fine. But when you see him once a year and say to me your dad was fine when I seen him last week, I just get so upset. I shouldn't - but I do. It seems as if Kevin and I (and my mother when she was alive) are the only ones that are not in denial and know exactly how much help he needs and has no business living alone. I will continue to try to help him as much as he will let us.
Prayers for you, dear one......
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